Insults and sayings.....
Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.
Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.
Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?
A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.
Do I look like a freakin' people person?
This isn't an office -- It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
You! Off my planet!
Therapy is expensive, poppin' bubble wrap is cheap! You choose.
Bottomless pit of needs & wants.
I like cats, too. Let's exchange recipes.
Friendly checkout clerk. Thanks for keeping me that way!
If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cat.
Does your train of thought have a caboose?
Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
Let me show you how the guards used to do it.
And just how may I screw you over today?
And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
A PBS mind in an MTV world.
Allow me to introduce my selves.
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
Better living through denial.
Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.
Adult child of alien invaders.
Do they ever shut up on your planet?
Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
Here I am! Now what are your other two wishes?
Back off! You're standing in my aura.
One of us is thinking about sex..... OK, it's me.
How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
It's sick the way you people keep having sex without me.
I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.
You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
Can I trade this job for what's behind door #2?
Macho Law forbids me from admitting I'm wrong.
Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
Too may freaks, not enough circuses.
Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
Earth is full. Go home.
Is it time for your medication or mine?
I plead contemporary insanity.
And which dwarf are you?
I refuse to star in your psychodrama.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
Meandering to a different drummer.
I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
I majored in Liberal Arts. Will that be for here or to go?